LOVE IS LIKE SUFFERING

i have often lain awake at night
seeking numbness -
a freedom from all feeling.
i feel pain
seeping through my veins,
and hurt,
that only knowing you,
(and loving you ...
and leaving you ...)
could have taught me.
i wallow in self-pity,
feel astonished
at my vulnerability.
and loneliness,
comes often
to remind me
of then.
yet,
you tell me i don't feel !
what, then, chokes me so
this vice-like grip,
leaving me gasping?
when you told me
love is like waiting,
why didn't you warn me,
that love,
is also like suffering...